3.11.09 by Tim

Sometime during the last school year or summer, Hannah KK and I got together to study (and by “study” i mean “bake hardtack and talk about being pirates”) and we put together a rough list of things we might want to keep in mind for any future piracy. Anyways it kind of filtered into the back of my mind until tonight when i ran across the text document hidden deep in the recesses of my computers desktop folder.


A boat (mattresses, wood,tent,rope, etc, Flag)

Rations!  (Hardtack (cooked over an open fire! (also aged) , grog, jerky, oatmeal? butter,cheese, raisins, SPIRITS! animal fat,  Salmagundi?)

A Crew (With rankings)

Somewhere to sail (Perry, Lakeview, Clinton? Edina, Not Kaw)


Outfits (Minimalist)

Cannons (exploding flour?)


Life jackets?  (More legal)

Learn how to perform the hornpipe (What instruments would be required?


1.  Nice boat w/ permit, in daylight, legitly sailed.

2.  Mattress boat, in deserted area, in daylight, well researched regulations, with feigned ignorance if stopped by local officials.

3.  Mattress boat in the cover of darkness, little light, constructed in daylight but not sailed until night (Gives time to learn hornpipe) and pretty much screwed if caught by U.S. Army Corps of Engineers(or any other local officials).  

Bodys of Water Considered

Lakeview Lake

Parts of Clinton Lake

Lone Star?

Perry Lake


Just in case you guys feel the sudden urge to get your piracy on. Also I added the “Piracy” category because this didn’t seem to fit anything else. Y’alls should feel free to delete it if you think its too ridiculous or something.


  1. Cypy 3.12.09

    I assume you chose option #3.

  2. Ruth 3.12.09

    The outfits should not be minimalist. They should be maximalist. Here are some reasons which I came up with just now why they should be maximalist:

    1. The term “full pirate regalia” does not apply well to minimalist costume.

    2. How are you going to fix the economy with minimalist costumes?

    3. On a purely practical note, pirates need more places to hide knives and pistols than a minimalist costume could provide.

    4. With the exception of hardtack, costumes are the part of this plan most likely to be carried out, so they should be maximally awesome.

  3. Ben 4.11.09

    I think that you have forgotten, sir, that I am a Ninja.

    Of course, you know this means war.

    Your death will be swift and painless. (As soon as I figure out how to write a post).

Leave a Reply