Categories

Dungeons and Discourse

4.15.09 by Ben + 80 comments!

I am going to abuse my position as a contributor and write my second article in one day.

Does anyone remember when I examined the philosophy of Dungeons and Dragons? Well, the internet has one-upped me, and it’s time to get revenge.

What I’m talking about, of course, is the cult hit by Aaron Diaz (in his wonderful comic Dresden Codak) known as Dungeons and Discourse.

The idea is that instead of character classes (such as Fighter, Cleric, Wizard, etc.), characters derive their powers from various Philosophies.

So, in order to properly exact my revenge, I (and if you want to, you) need ideas on how to turn this into a reality and then turn it into a fully-fledged meme.

Here are my Class ideas (each class should have two builds or paths);

And those are the only full ones. Others include;

So, you can help by commenting on which ones you think should be included, which ones shouldn’t, new ideas, or new builds. Wikipedia is your friend!

Second, each class derives powers from their beliefs, and these classes and powers fall into one of four categories; Leaders (who heal friends), Strikers (who do massive damage to one person), Defenders (who are very hard to kill), or Controllers (who do less damage to larger groups of people).

This is also a great place to discuss these different philosophies. I personally am an Existentialist and Atheist, which means that I don’t believe in a power, God, or any form of purpose in the Universe. What do you believe? Leave a comment!

The Ninja/Pirate War

4.15.09 by Ben + 80 comments!

Some of you may be aware that Tim Clark posted a note about great “piratey” things to do. Of course, for die-hard Ninjas (redundant, I know), this was nothing but an open declaration of war.

Petty? Yes. Meme? Yes. Fun? Absolutely.

So, without further ado, a list of excellent Ninja things to do, as well as why Ninjas are better than Pirates.

Things to Acquire:

  1. A Ninja Lair (a basement)
  2. Ninja Weapons (for great justice!)
  3. Ninja suits
  4. An enemy to stealthfully follow and assassinate

 

Actions to Perpetrate:

  1. Stealthy sneaky Ninja plans to take over the world
  2. Follow and Assinate target (apologizing, of course, to friends and family with very classy ninja flowers)
  3. Celebrate with a Ninja party

I do not have a list of reasons as to why Ninjas are better than Pirates, but it will come. Meanwhile, feast your eyes on these works of beauty, courtesy of Google and Wizards of the Coast.

Pirate Victory. But only because the Ninja is a plush.

 

Showdown! #2

Showdown! #3

 

Word.

The End of ze World

4.12.09 by Deus + 118 comments!

We once had a poll in the Free Press about whether the world will end in 2012 - fifty percent if not more of the nine votes (maybe I’m remembering something incorrectly) said yes. Now I wonder - how many people actually know why the Mayans thought that the world would end? I got this from an authentic Mayan descendant: they had a base-20 counting system, and a denoted dates in the form a.b.c.d.e. Starting at 0.0.0.0.0, the date they believed they were created (some 5000 years ago), the first digit was incremented for each day that passed. When it reached 20, it returned to 0 and the second digit was incremented. There were specific day values for each position (first position is one day per each count, second is twenty for each count, I don’t remember the third and fourth, and fifth position 144000 days per increment). December 20, 2012 is when the calendar reaches 19.19.19.19.19 and December 21 is when it goes back to 0.0.0.0.0. So essentially, people are getting excited (ahem) because of the quirks of their numbering system and a religious belief that has been disproven by the fact that humans are considerably older than ~3000 BC. Of course, the likes of this gentleman aren’t much for the idea of us having been apes at some point (better to have been created by an omnipotent third party), but we have found some pretty old bones in the ground. But I digress.

That is not to say that the world won’t end in some sense - it’s just almost certain that we can’t predict the date by some mysterious prophecy. Right now, a third of the world (2.3 billion) is positive for tuberculosis. Some strains are incurable. We’ve got the Large Hadron Collider that can theoretically do some very interesting things (black holes, tears in reality, Satan, and all that science fiction that it probably won’t do but might [except the Satan thing]). When they originally tested the atomic bomb, they thought that it might ignite the atmosphere and put Outback out of business, but they detonated it anyway - who cares if our steak isn’t medium-rare and doesn’t have all the delicious tapeworms as long as we can blow up Japan a thousand times over? Shouldn’t we wait until we can do these things in space before we risk cracking our planet in half? Some lab is producing carbon nanotubes for the US government at a rate of 1g a day, which can stretch to 18 miles. They need about 140000 miles to build a viable space elevator, so my idea is that someone with the money should put together sufficient funds to sponsor an international collaboration on building this space elevator. I digress again.

But in any case, we can’t predict when the world will end. It almost definitely won’t happen because someone arbitrarily thought so.

Edit: So it seems that Wikipedia’s version of the Mayan apocalypse contradicts what I’ve written here. I got my information from an actual Mexican native so I’m more inclined to believe that, but I honestly don’t know which one is correct. Mine makes more sense, so I’ll leave it for now.

Free Shepard Fairey

3.22.09 by Ruth + 89 comments!

According to this article in … yeah, I don’t really have to tell you what publication … an artist, Shepard Fairey, (who is incidentally most famous for another piece of art) was brought to court this week in Boston for vandalism.

An example of the charges against him:

Here’s something else which was painted on concrete…

…in Berlin, in 1989.  That piece of concrete is now an art gallery.

There are many many many more examples.

Remember the trash cans at Central which had reproductions of famous pieces of art on them?  If you didn’t go to Central, pretend you remember them anyway.  I think we can all agree that that was a pretty awesome idea.  It was an awesome idea because it took blank surfaces and made them interesting.  The difference between that and the examples above is, essentially, the pressence of permission.  As rebelious teenagers, I think we can all agree that permission isn’t important.

If you were considering going out and spraypainting “Free Shepard Fairey” on the sidewalks, you should call me so I can go with you.  Actually, if you are Shepard Fairey you can probably afford both a good lawyer and bail.  Nevermind.

Pirates!

3.11.09 by Tim + 3 comments!

Sometime during the last school year or summer, Hannah KK and I got together to study (and by “study” i mean “bake hardtack and talk about being pirates”) and we put together a rough list of things we might want to keep in mind for any future piracy. Anyways it kind of filtered into the back of my mind until tonight when i ran across the text document hidden deep in the recesses of my computers desktop folder.

THINGS TO DO TO BE PIRATES!!


A boat (mattresses, wood,tent,rope, etc, Flag)

Rations!  (Hardtack (cooked over an open fire! (also aged) , grog, jerky, oatmeal? butter,cheese, raisins, SPIRITS! animal fat,  Salmagundi?)

A Crew (With rankings)

Somewhere to sail (Perry, Lakeview, Clinton? Edina, Not Kaw)

  Plunder?

Outfits (Minimalist)

Cannons (exploding flour?)

Maps

Life jackets?  (More legal)

Learn how to perform the hornpipe (What instruments would be required?


OPTIONS

1.  Nice boat w/ permit, in daylight, legitly sailed.

2.  Mattress boat, in deserted area, in daylight, well researched regulations, with feigned ignorance if stopped by local officials.

3.  Mattress boat in the cover of darkness, little light, constructed in daylight but not sailed until night (Gives time to learn hornpipe) and pretty much screwed if caught by U.S. Army Corps of Engineers(or any other local officials).  


Bodys of Water Considered

Lakeview Lake

Parts of Clinton Lake

Lone Star?

Perry Lake

 

Just in case you guys feel the sudden urge to get your piracy on. Also I added the “Piracy” category because this didn’t seem to fit anything else. Y’alls should feel free to delete it if you think its too ridiculous or something.

« Older Newer »